Trojan War: Beginning III
Some
of you may have even seen Troy, the movie with Brad Pitt playing a very
sensitive Achilles and Orlando Bloom as a painfully wus Paris. The movie was
good, despite the fact that it's really loosely based on the Trojan War, but
seeing Helen was a big downer. I mean, she was hot (and that was great given my
feelings about most artistic representations of the heroine), but what's
awesome about Helen is that no one ever can really know her. She is profoundly
multi-dimensional and beyond any one telling.
I'm
here to tell you the story how those infamous thousand ships got launched, but,
since you can go ahead and read Homer’s Iliad to see the version focusing on
such heroes as Achilles and Hector, I will begin with the woman who got the
blame, and I will begin at the beginning.
Leda
was the very beautiful Queen of Sparta and married to King Tyndareus by loved
by the King of the gods, Zeus himself. Only, this wasn't any old' seduction, as
you may remember, Zeus was quite creative, and in this case, he took the shape
of a swan. Less than a year later, Leda laid two eggs. The first contained
Helen and Polydeuces and the second held Helen’s younger siblings: Clytemnestra
and Castor. Helen and Polydeuces were
Zeus' children, while the second egg belonged to Tyndareus. Anyway, Helen
grew up in Sparta getting more and more beautiful until just after she hit puberty and
really began to follow in her mother's footsteps by getting abducted.
The
abductor was the equally famous Theseus, King of Athens. He took her to Aphidna
and they did their thing for a good while. At any rate, his goal of banging a daughter of
Zeus now accomplished, the king moved on. But Helen was still a hot commodity,
and her family - especially her brothers who were heroes in their own right -
wanted her back. Castor and Polydeuces (the Dioscuri) attacked Athens and got
Helen back and even took some girl slaves of their own while they were there.
Back home, Clytemnestra was already married (first to Tantalus and then to
Agamemnon who we will see later) but Helen, well, now that she was home her
unmarried status became an immediate problem.
As Mr. Robert Bell says,
"Every red-blooded male in Greece who had heard of the gorgeous Helen
dreamed of possessing her." The rule of Sparta was matrilineal and thus
she was such a hot ticket because she also brought with her in marriage one of
the most successful cities on the continent and a great powerful military force
in Greece: the Spartan Army. Fortunately for Tyndareus, when Odysseus came (and
ended up walking out with Penelope, Helen's cousin), he made a suggestion that
suitors be required to swear an oath:
Whoever
Tyndareus chose to be Helen's husband must be respected by the rest, and more
than that, ready to defend that relationship against anyone who would try to
steal her away.
As
it turns out, Tyndareus randomly chose Menelaus. He was kind of like a noble, plain-looking,
rich brat (since most of his power and money came from his powerful brother
Agamemnon -the one that married Clytemnestra?). Yeah, well, anyway, when his granddad
died he went for rituals and met Paris (his boytoy) and took him home and
then LEFT him there while he took a trip to Crete. WTF!? Well, I assume he felt
safe given the oath of the suitors. Well, Paris had the goddess Aphrodite herself.
Young, dashing, arrogant Paris seal the deal and
off they went in his ship back to Thebes. Helen was NOT kidnapped! She willingly
went with Paris. If she was kidnapped Paris would in millions of pieces by the Spartan people. Addition, Spartan women can protect them and can fight as well as the men.
Aphrodite had cursed both daughters of
Tyndareus to be unfaithful and hey look; she was already sleeping with slaves! Even
if she was in love, there was a whole lot of sorrow in her life and her
relationships hurt a lot of people, not least of all Helen.
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