Anal Sex Prep Guide for Men

Advices from Ganymede and Antinous

Just because you are gay doesn't mean that anal sex is easy. Many tops make the mistake of assuming they'll slide right in with a dab of saliva like in porn. Nothing could be further from the truth. Anal sex is an intense act that should be viewed more highly by gay men. If you are into the guy you are with or have a special friend with benefits then you will want to tape these tips to your wall because they will bring you hours of great back door action.

The secret to making anal sex a fantastic experience for both you and man is all about preparation. Whether you’re doing it for the first time or you've made it a regular part of your sex life, there are some essential steps to take before any back door action goes on. As you both get used to each other, some of these tips will become less time consuming, but still it’s always necessary. And before you think your dick gives you power in the bedroom, remember the bottom calls the shots when it’s time to go deep.

Use Dark Sheets

If the potential of an accident or the spray of a load is an issue for you, you may want to start by replacing those bright white bed sheets with a darker color. You’re less likely to see stains and it’s a good clue to your man that you want to get busy when he sees that you have changed the decor.

Don't Over-douche

Lots of men think they have to spend hours cleaning themselves.  While douching will clean out the anal cavity and may even feel good to some people, excessive douching can dry out the anal canal and cause micro-abrasions that make passing sexually transmitted infections (STIs) more likely. A simple rinse using anal douche will do the trick. It has an easy to squeeze bulb and a small tip for easy insertion. Plus it’s small enough to be discreet. And every top should have one just in case.

Relax Him

When planning to have anal sex, especially for the first time, it is important to create a relaxing, non-intimidating atmosphere. The more relaxed he is, the easier it will be. Go at his pace. Putting on some sexy music, getting the lighting right and starting out with a massage will get him to loosen up literally and figuratively.

Anal Foreplay

You should lick it before you stick it. But if you don't know the guy that well then prepares him by rubbing his anus and perineum gently with your fingers. Be sure to trim your nails and wash your hands before entering.  You can even use a prostate massager to get him accustomed to being penetrated there. He'll love the stimulation. If you keep up the intensity, he can have an anal orgasm. Try a prostate stimulator to arouse your man. It is soft to the touch and reaches his special spot with ease.

Lube up

The No. 1 rule for pleasurable anal sex is to always use plenty of lube. Since the anus does not produce its own natural lubrication, it is necessary to make it slick, silky and wet use lubricant. Make sure the lube you choose is condom-safe and have lots of it on hand. You may need to reapply during your anal sex session. If he has discomfort during the process, then use an anal comfort spray relaxes his anus and keeps him lubricated during penetration.

Use Protection

Pregnancy may not be an issue for gay men but STD's are. You should always wear a condom unless you are in a tested committed relationship. The anus is susceptible to tiny cuts and tears that could make transmitting easier.  Condoms can also be put on dildos and prostate massagers for hygienic purposes and easy clean up.

Always Be Prepared

If anal sex is your goal, there is a bit of prep work involved in order to make it a great experience for both you and your man. It is really in your best interest to make sure he enjoys himself, because you will get more out it if he does. So be a boy scout and keep these tips in mind. You can thank me later.

Anniversary of Loving v. Virginia

What is Loving v. Virginia?  Loving v. Virginia is the landmark U.S. Supreme Court decision that declared unconstitutional any ban on interracial marriage.It’s hard to believe, but it was around 1992 before a majority of Americans supported interracial marriage. That’s crazy!

Also crazy: kids who were born in 1992 are turning 21 this year, which means they're just hitting the world of adult dating. Raised in a climate of tolerance and approval, interracial coupling is simply no big deal to these youngsters.

And on June 12, we’re coming up on the 46th anniversary of Loving v. Virginia, the Supreme Court case that ended state bans on miscegenation. At the same time, we’re just days away from a Supreme Court ruling on Proposition 8, another milestone in the civil rights fight.

So, with interracial couples no big deal, a civil rights milestone nearing the half-century mark and another milestone waiting in the wings, is marriage and equality on everyone’s mind at this year’s Pride?

Well, no, not really. Researchers found some interracial couples at LA Pride in West Hollywood this weekend, and asked them how they’re feeling at this crossroads of history. Mostly, they were happy just to have found each other and to be enjoying a sunny day in the park. The legal ramifications can wait for another time.

LGBT History: Sacred Band of Thebes

The question whether homosexuals make good soldiers has been a controversial issue in many Western countries in the twentieth century. In the United States gays' right to serve had sparked a heated debate on a national scale, recently resolved in favor of a controversial 'don't tell' policy which allows gays and lesbians to enlist provided they do not divulge their sexual orientation.

If you ever run into anyone who gives you a mouthful of right-wing nonsense about how gays shouldn't serve in the military, or protests that gays have never been allowed to openly serve in the military, tell them about the OTHER 300. Not the soldiers at Thermopylae celebrated in the movie "The 300," but another group equally deserving of attention. Known as "The Sacred Band of Thebes," these 300 gay men (150 couples) were recruited to form an elite band of soldiers, known for their bravery and devotion. It's a fascinating and often-overlooked morsel of history.

The Sacred Band of three hundred young lovers from Thebes. As a group cemented by friendship and love it was invincible. From 378 BC to 348 BC they were extremely successful in battle and highly revered. The idea was that if you fought alongside your boyfriend you would be inspired to greater heroism, wanting to impress him. The Theban lawgivers deliberately gave great encouragement to these friendships to soften the wildness of character of their youth. Beloveds and lovers swore pledges of loyalty at the tomb of Iolaus (Hercules lover) which is located within his cult precinct at Thebes. It is therefore natural that Thebes’ band was called "sacred," just as Plato referred to the lover as a "divinely-inspired friend."
This undefeated elite battalion, was destroyed by the forces of Philip

II of Macedon at the Battle of Chaeronea. When Philip, surveying the casualties after the battle, stood at that place where the 300 chanced to lie dead, men who had faced the Macedonian long spears and were now a jumble of bodies and armor, he was struck with admiration. And when he learned that this was the band of lovers and beloveds, he wept and exclaimed, "May utter destruction fall upon those who suppose these men died or suffered anything disgraceful!"

History of GLBT in the World

Out treatment of homosexuality- and not only that- is fundamentally different, from how it was looked upon in the Ancient World, and we fail to grasp its importance and its role in society fully. I would say that ancient societies were a bit more free, at least they didn't consider the gender of your partner such a great deal. But then again this doesn't mean there were no limitations or restrictions, on the contrary. It was mostly a structured thing happening between people belonging to different social classes and age groups. And there were many regional variations as well. Here many culture that document homosexuality in their record. Please note that this NOT a complete list just some. 

Ancient Egypt

An ostraca dating from the Ramesside Period have been found which depict hastily drawn images of homosexual as well as heterosexual sex. The duo Khnumhotep and Niankhkhnum, manicurists in the Palace of King Niuserre during the Fifth Dynasty of Egyptian pharaohs, circa 2400 BC are speculated to have been homosexual based on a representation of them embracing nose-to-nose in their shared tomb. King Neferkare and General Sasenet, a Middle Kingdom story, has an intriguing plot revolving around a king's clandestine homosexual affair with one of his generals. It may reference the actual Pharaoh Pepi II, who was likely gay. Even their gods have gay sex such as Seth and his relationship with Horus.

Of course the most known to us is the Athenian type of homosexuality, where an older man would associate with a younger boy (a teenager, no younger than that).

Keep in mind that the Greeks were simply uncomplicated about sexuality. Their cultural tradition did not include a lot of issues concerning sex, other than faithfulness on the part of women to ensure the patrimony of a man's legacy to their own biological children. (Women know a child is theirs... men have to take her word for it)

Homosexuality was seen in the ancient world as being a suitable outlet for male sexual drives. It was seen as being preferable to having sex with women who were married (the fidelity thing) and preferable to having sex with unmarried women (because of the patrimony thing... women who were not virginal would have nearly no chance in hell of getting married...thus- WOMEN refused casual sexual encounters far more so than today- leaving men little option.)

Further, in ancient civilizations it was not lost on women that if they continued having sex beyond a certain age... that they would likely die in childbirth and their husband remarry a younger woman whose offspring would then get the greater share, if not all of the father's patrimony. So it was not uncommon for educated women to turn off the supply of sex for the husband beyond a certain point. The wife would not tolerate a mistress- who might produce an heir. A primary of this is the Goddess Hera and her treatment to Zeus’s mistresses (mortal and immortal). She would tolerate homosexual outlets for her husband's sexual drives.

Ancient Rome

In Ancient Rome the young male body remained a focus of male sexual attention, but relationships were between older free men and slaves or freed youths who took the receptive role in sex. All the emperors with the exception of Claudius took male lovers. The most famous of this is Emperor Hadrian and his relationship with Antinous (this story is coming soon). But the pagan-hating, Christian emperor Theodosius I decreed a law on August 6, 390 CE, condemning passive males to be burned at the stake. Justinian, towards the end of his reign, expanded the proscription to the active partner as well (in 558 CE), warning that such conduct can lead to the destruction of cities through the "wrath of God". Notwithstanding these regulations, taxes on brothels of boys available for homosexual sex continued to be collected until the end of the reign of Anastasius I in 518.

Sub-Saharan Africa

Much of the history of homosexual love in pre-colonial Africa has probably been lost for good. Pre-colonial Africa was largely made up of non-literate cultures that left no written records and the prudish colonial powers were not inclined to document practices they considered "beastly"; they were already busy suppressing homosexuality at home. However, knowledge of some examples did survive, such as the boy marriage tradition among Azande warriors, and the gay sex customs at the court of the Kabaka (king) of the Buganda. It would be a stretch to call it "gay love" since those who did not submit to penetration - as a result of having recently been indoctrinated into Christian beliefs - were decapitated.

India

Northern India under Mughal rule was a haven for gay love.  A famous love story of this period has to be Mahmud of Ghazni, who deeply loved his boy slave, Ayaz. Their love has become a paragon of ideal love, perhaps analogous to that of Romeo and Juliet in the West. In a telling anecdote, Mahmud asks Ayaz, "who is the most powerful ruler in the world?" "I am the most powerful," Ayaz, the beloved slave replies. The confused king asks his slave boy to explain. "You, Mahmud, are the most powerful of all kings," says Ayaz. "But since I rule your heart, I am more powerful still." In popular lore the two were said to be each other's slave, Ayaz a slave in deed and Mahmud a slave of love.

China

Love between men in China begins with the very beginning of history, with the first (semi-legendary) ruler, the Yellow Emperor. Historians claimed he was the first to establish the custom of taking a male bedmate. Many, if not most Chinese emperors had gay lovers just like their pagan Roman counterpart. The tradition was known as the Way of the Cut Sleeve, or the Way of the Bitten Peach. China also stands out as one of the richest sources of erotic homosexual art. Sadly, only a small fraction has been preserved, as most of it was destroyed in the "Cultural" Revolution.

Japan

In an uncanny parallel with ancient Greece, Japan also possessed a rich and profound culture of love between men. All the shoguns had male lovers and the custom was one of the pillars of the samurai pedagogical tradition. Japanese erotic art, in the form of gay shunga, is refined and sophisticated. While much erotic shunga was destroyed during the era of Westernization—entire warehouses of erotic shunga prints were burned by the American occupying forces after WWII—a great deal survived and can be found in museums and treasured private collections of erotic art. It shows the endless ways men can love and make love with each other, and is marked with passion and humor.

Pre-Colombian America

The Mayan people, among their many cultural achievements, also developed a tradition of male love. One aspect involved nobles acquiring a slave or servant to be the playmate and bedmate of their son. Another aspect may have involved relations between an older chief and younger officials.

THE FALL OF THE JAGUAR KING! By Herodotus is a good example of Maya Culture

CHAPTER ONE  CHAPTER TWO CHAPTER THREE

Native America

In The Two-Spirit tradition a child is recognized as different at a young age and brought up in the ways of the opposite sex. The custom is still honored among many Native American tribes today. Two-spirit people are thought to be endowed with special powers and are often respected as exceptional medicine people. In recent times, some two-spirits have transitioned between the gay world and the traditionalist world. This link can provide you with more information: Native America

LGBT History: Hadrian and Antinous

Hadrian married in about AD 100, but we do not know much about the life of his beard wife and empress, Vibia Sabina. Sabina's image was put on the official coinage and there are many statues of her. Their mutual indifference became open antipathy in later life, though they kept up appearances to some extent, and were never divorced. Sabina, who professed that she was proud to have born no children to her ‘monstrous’ husband, nevertheless was occasionally even allowed to accompany him on his travels.

However, ancient sources make it very clear that Hadrian was in love with a young Greek male called Antinous. Homosexual relationships were not considered unusual in ancient Rome, but the intensity with which Hadrian mourned Antinous’ premature death was without precedent.

Background on Antinous: Antinous was born in a town called Claudiopolis in the northwest corner of the country that we now call Turkey, in the year 111 A.D. He was very likely not from a wealthy family, and is even said to have been a slave...Antinous came from nothing, and from nowhere, but by the end of his short life, he was a Prince, known all over the Empire. His name has overcome the trials of history because of the mysterious love that occurred between this strange, exotic boy, and the ruler of the Roman world at its height. The details of Antinous's life are mostly unknown.

Story began…

The Emperor Hadrian passed through Bithynia in the year 123 A.D. and he encountered Antinous for the first time and fell completely in love. Antinous was admitted into the Imperial court. He was sent to Rome to be educated at the finest schools for boys, where he learned Latin, poetry, history and the arts, while he remained close to Hadrian and was tutored in private. He also began to train his body in the gymnasium, and over time sculpted it, under the guidance of Hadrian's trainers, into what would become the finest example of Classical male beauty.

Just as rapidly, Antinous became the subject of numerous busts showing off the delicate features and great physical beauty that had stirred the Emperor’s lust. However, there was more to Antinous than physical attraction. Reportedly, he was highly intelligent and witty, which was another of the Emperor’s great passions.

Antinous was an excellent hunter, which was Hadrian's favorite pastime...they are known to have spent much of their free time hunting wild animals, including a man-eating lion in the Libyan desert. Antinous surely felt deep affection for Hadrian's hunting hounds, the finest dogs in the world at that time and in many ways Antinous can be compared to one of them, because of his loyalty and devotion, his beauty and youth, his athletic strength, and the expression in his eyes...all of which conveys deep canine familiarity. And Antinous spent approximately seven years with Hadrian which is about the life-span of a strong hunting dog.

Hadrian visited Egypt in AD 130 along with the imperial entourage, including his wife and his husband Antinous. They embarked on a voyage up the River Nile and on 24 October Antinous drowned in the river, on the same day the locals were commemorating the death, by drowning in the Nile, of the Egyptian god Osiris. Some theories have had it; Antinous was murdered by jealous courtiers. What is without a doubt true is that Hadrian was grief-stricken and wept loud and long for his lost lover “like a woman” according to the six authors of the Historia Augusta, a collection of late Roman biographies.

The High Priests of Osiris and those of Hermopolis, came privately to Hadrian that night and revealed what they believed had taken place. Antinous had joined the river god, and had become the river god. They showed Hadrian that the local people had already taken up the lamentation and exaltation of Antinous, proclaiming that he had become a God, after their custom. Hadrian took these sentiments to heart. The following day he consulted with his advisors and with the Roman pontiffs of the court, and revealed his astonishing plan.

On October 30th of the year 130 AD, Hadrian founded the Holy City of Antinoopolis on the bank of the river where Antinous had drowned, tracing out the major streets with his own rod in the sand. He then proceeded to do the unthinkable, as Pontifex Maximus, High Priest of the Roman Religion, he declared that Antinous was a God, that he had conquered death, and risen up to dwell among the never-ending stars. Whoa that was the power of Love. Proclamations were sent out to ever corner of the world, inaugurating the religion of the New God Antinous.

Other Greek cities began to establish their own cults and festivals in honor of Antinous, led by local and senatorial leaders, who wished to express their loyalty to Rome and to Hadrian. The Antinous cult became popular among the common people, where it seems to have competed with Christianity. Even today he is still worship as the Gay God the website: http://www.antinopolis.org/religion.html